ZER0 FUCKS GIVEN

Ep35 Pay Pigging with Leo

Leonardo DiCaprio is back in the news and it’s not for his latest movie, Killers of the Flower Moon. Sure, with his endless stream of 25-year-old girlfriends, we could be forgiven for thinking he’s just another Pay Pig. But after further consideration, Carson and Freddy think there might be some master plan at work. Was Vittoria searching for Leo’s stash of Skittles or just looking to add a little spice to the hors d’oeuvres? Speaking of having it stuck to you, John Paulson recently made headlines with a former business associate going for his own reach-around. Freddy unveils the latest crypto scam and, with Gen Z relying on TikTok for its news, there’s very little question as to why degenerates continue to fall for the SBF’s of the world.

Ep34 Drunk or High, Columbus or Musk?

There’s been a new addition to the offices at Muddy Waters headquarters and it’s only the start of a major makeover to the conference room. Carson explains how he came across a stash of conference room chairs, which come from a very special place in financial history. Freddy goes on to share his ideas for how they might freshen up the artwork. After a lengthy debate, we’re still not entirely sure which state wins in a sporting event – drunk or high. Leave us a comment with your vote! Along the way, we learn more about Carson’s personal life. Everything from getting ghosted on two different job offers, to his topless beer drinking days in California, and even his Dad’s cannabis ice cream scare. The crew wraps up with a discussion on a research paper and whether physical appearance is a determining factor for performance – both in bed and the P&L column.

Ep33 Stocks and Cocks at Fashion Week

For starters, let's all give Krista a big round of applause for finally nailing an intro. No, seriously, because that's about the only thing she stays on track with, in this week's ZFG. In what began as a discussion about fashion, or lack thereof, the focus quickly shifts to Freddy's foot fetish, which knows no bounds. And, as bizarre as that sounds, it pales in comparison to Bryan Johnson's quest to relive his awkward teen years. At this point, you're probably feeling a bit queasy and wanting to bail. Don't. Hold on tight, just as ferociously as the TSA agent, once he got Carson's ass in his grasps. Have no fear, we did promise a weekly installment of Freddy's Business Idea of The Week. And if you're ever in San Francisco, just remember, it's 1-800-Call-Freddy for a good time.

Ep32 Spoofing at the Silent Pickleball Disco

After two weeks away, the ZFG crew is back, and with some very important news - Tiger Global is back! With the NASDAQ roaring back in 2023, the Golden Levered Benchmark Boy is back in the black, as well. And to demonstrate the rigorous analysis that has gone into generating this terrific rebound in performance, Freddy shares a few anecdotes from eavesdropping on a recent conversation in Silicon Valley. And, no, we know what you're thinking - he wasn't out there pitching Poober to SoftBank, whose pockets are now lined with fresh bagholder cash. Pickleball is tearing apart communities almost as fast as it has the dignity of those who play it. Microphones on cox is a terrible idea. Carson goes on to reveal his best short idea following the Jets disaster on Monday Night Football. Freddy finds a place for OnlyFans in American politics. And Krista revisits her dreams of Hobby Horsing, only to admit that she's a solid six decades past the prime age for competitors.

Ep31 Fire Porn and Hobby Horsing

After holding down the fort for the summer, Krista welcomes Freddy and Carson back from vacation. Freddy kicks things off with his Business Idea of The Week, which unfortunately appears to be a mainstay for Season Two of Zero Fucks Given. Krista, still in a vacation mindset – just kidding, she wasn’t allowed to leave the office – has been all too eager to tell her friends about Hobby Horsing, the newest Olympic sporting event. After recalling the fantastic coverage of Crispin Odey, Carson shares one of his favorite articles from his Californian summer – the dick that just kept on dicking. With the news of Saudi Aramco’s CEO being named to BlackRock’s Board of Directors, due to his and I quote, “understanding of the global energy industry and the drivers of the shift towards a low carbon economy.”, Carson opens the floor for any suggestions on who should be named to Muddy Waters’ Board of Hypocrisy. And just for good measure, Freddy wraps up with a second business idea, one that could potentially turn around Inotiv’s (NOTV) collapsing stock price – the Black Macaque Beef Jerky.

Ep30 The Premier of Toasted Zebra

Coming to you from the masterminds behind Poober and eBay for human organs, we bring you the Toasted Zebra! Inspired by Carson's own wife, Freddy introduces their latest business idea - the Lululemon of women's drinking helmets. Once the excitement fades, Krista and Freddy take us down a long line of depressing news developments. From touchdown dances celebrating the takeout of one of Muddy Waters' short targets, to the PGA/LIV golf merger, and Instagram's algos promoting child pornography; it's been a rough few weeks. While Crispin Odey has run out of second, third or even tenth chances, we do learn that not everyone is out of strikes. The Luckin Coffee founder is back with, yes, another coffee chain.

EP29 Risk Managing A Potential US Default

The crew is back from Institutional Investor's award ceremony and Krista is still beaming from her nomination. Although she doesn't quite remember the events of that night, Freddy reminds her that Boaz Weinstein robbed her of true fame, though we suspect the judges were taking a page out of the Clarence Thomas playbook. Carson broaches the topic that's been on every investor's radar: How to manage your portfolio around the unknown known event of a potential US default? Carson and Freddy have gone back and forth on the appropriate way forward, but there is something they agree on – should the US default on its debt, which serves as the bedrock for global financial markets, no one has any idea how things will unfold. To get his point across, Carson shares the lessons of an old acquaintance who, just like our status as the global reserve currency, always found a way to threaten a perfect situation. And just in case you thought this looming risk of default has scared investors away from worthless shitcos, have no fear, there’s been a recent sighting of a Glenn Close impersonator. 

EP28 King Zevinsky and Pablo Escobar Talk Scandals

At long last, the man at the heart of the Kenyan chess scandal has been brought to justice! Freddy, never one to put too much effort into his footwear, finds it comical that the size-11 sneakers weren’t spotted beneath the burka. The real question comes from whether it’s necessary to separate men and women for chess tournaments. Bodybuilding competitions? Absolutely. But chess? Perhaps the answer lies with Matt Moulding who is eager to lend a hand with some of his protein. After getting through current events, Carson vents about the complete lack of professionalism from the cabal of award-winning PhD journalists. How in the world did two comedians prank Jerome Powell? All it took was a phone call from King Zevinsky. As if Krista’s pop quiz on world events wasn’t going poorly enough, we come to find out that Pablo Escobar will forever be remembered in the history books for his hippo sanctuary. And for all of you wondering what exactly going on with the current banking crisis… Carson has a parting gift.

EP27 The El Chapo of Skittles

What do gerbils, Richard Gere and the Dalai Lama have in common? It might have something to do with cuckolding but at the very least, we can definitively say that they’re fun-loving creatures. Freddy goes on to explain his own religious beliefs and how his current views may have been shaped by a majestic fjord. In keeping with this theme of beauty, Carson details his latest trip to California where, unfortunately, policy makers are doing everything in their power to suck the fun out of an all-time classic treat. Don’t get too down, Carson has an important retraction to make and it has a little something to do with one of the most popular segments on ZFG. And speaking of retractions, Freddy reveals what we all suspected from the debacle with his learner’s permit… Krista, in fact, has no clue how to sign.

Ep26 Don’t Mess With the Dayan

For anyone who missed the 93rd Academy Awards earlier this month, Krista leads off with a masterpiece that deserved to be on the short list to win Best Documentary Short Film. In a pleasant twist from revealing the shortcomings of employees at Muddy Waters, we learn that Krista is proficient with sign language. Many find such a skill worthy of celebration, but we come to find out it was Krista’s interpretation of Freddy’s learner’s permit that led him to believe he had earned his driver’s license. With the not-so-sudden downfall of Credit Saudi, Carson laments the final ZFG segment of Credit Suisse First Loss. While the crew revels in the downfall of Silicon Valley Bank (“SVB”), Freddy confesses to making a shameless plea to SVB by detailing another one of his business ideas. Not to be outdone, Carson goes on to share his learnings from the weekend – a glorious and infamous creature popularly known as the Cheetard. And as a parting gift from the esquire himself, Carson provides a few excerpts from an old book he co-authored on ‘Doing Business in China’… For Dummies.